Live from the hills of Umunna,Bende.
20 nights and 21 days. Three weeks spent in the heart of Umunna. Days spent breathing in icy air,getting caked with the brown dust invited by the hard stumping of the marching parade. Waking up to the drills at dawn and if you are like me,soaking in the beauty of the morning stars splayed around the pink moon. Its always a beauty to watch the sun spread it's rays in glorious effulgence as the moon is whisked away by the receding dark clouds. It was one of the perks of waking up as early as 3:30am daily. It made the shrill calls of the beagle and whistle easier to obey. Thats not to say it was always fun. There were mornings when the urge to cork up a throat with the noisy trumpet fleeted past your mind. Or to join the soaring number of girls who used the bathroom to escape drills. But the fun i came to have would have sat moping and waiting like the vultures that paid regular visits to the adjacent restrooms. Oh,I did not mention the forest. A long one-block wide wall seperates the camp from a forest. I forgot to ask for the name. The presence of the vultures confirmed my belief that there were wild animals in the forest. It would have been fun and an adventure to tour that expanse. But our activities were restricted within the camp. Except jogging. I went jogging outside the camp three of the four times we were told to. I had gone for a meeting and could not meet up. But those three i went on were great. Jogged all the way down and walked back the first time. The last time too. It was real fun slicing through the icy fog,singing songs filled with cheeky anecdotes,and throwing in some dance moves. The boys were cool too. Making jokes and initiating competition. I got a flower on the first. Real sweet guy. I'll miss that part of camp.
What i will not miss is shower and poo-poo time!! What i escaped for four years in school,i had no choice but to do for the first two days…… Bathing in the open!!! It was not funny, but i did it. Luckily,i did not have to throw shot-put. As usual,i did not have to do the business for three days. Even after the toilets were cleaned up,i thank God for dettol and plenty tissue paper! I shall not give more details.
Water was another issue. Its usually a case of queing,sometimes,for almost an hour before fetching. But that was cool though. I met some cute guys there. And some annoying bairns too. One actually sent me a message to meet him up at 3am for sex. Some skinny looking fellow,would be an insult to the grasshoppers i met on camp to compare his head to theirs!! Thats that anyway.
There are so many things i want to yap about. The drills,my platoon officer,Mr Ogbonayea (a good man), my platoon commandant Coporal Mustapha Goni (the best), my man o' war instructors, both the good ones and the lewd suggestive ones,the camp officials,my platoon members,the meetings,the events and my thoughts on them,and of course, the bubbly camp commandant, Capt. A. S Suna.
Capt. A. S Suna!! You know what people say about great things not neccesarily coming in huge packaging? Capt. Suna is one man I shan't forget in a hurry; if ever. I remember the hundred and nine frog jumps my platoon was asked to do by the captain himself. All blame for that episode goes to some 'brave' otondos looking for trouble and insulting camp officials. Kai! That day sha. The thing is, I had been taking every bit of every thing on camp as a fun experience, and that day took me one swing away from breakpoint. We were crouching and baking under the scorching sun for close to 30minutes before the capt. got to our platoon. We had seen the other six platoons before us make frogs go greener with envy. We were sadly expectant,and did we get it [109~One Hundred and Nine froggies]. Luckily a girl in the front row kissed the ground at the count of 95 or 96. The good captain wasn't too pleased that we all stopped but he couldn't help the smile on his face as he ordered us to stand up. Dear father! My legs were shaking like leaves in a bad storm. I won't forget that day and will remain grateful to Ndidi for fainting that day.
I have left for last the three highlights of my camp experience. Me being in the Miss Hot Legs pagaent; even though I didn't win,it was one of the most fun night of my camp experience. The people i met (especially the fine boys 😉 ). They were many o! And I had some amazing meet-cute moment with many of them. I even had an eye contact moment with one of the really fine ones. His name sounds like mine ( 🙂 ). The entire Orientation Broadcasting Service crew and experience is one I will always look back on with smiles and pride. Dancing was crazy. I couldn't believe I could get loose like I did; I probably would have danced more if guys weren't always trying to grab or grind on something!!
Without a doubt,camp was great. An experience i'll always cherish. To all I met and will be with through the year, I hope we'll have a fun year. 🙂