I took an inventory of my fears today,sitting beside my window, feeling safe with the warmth of rising sun brushing my cheek.
With a shaky heart, I confessed them in honesty.
My fingers curled tightly around the pen and swirly black lines reflected the words in my head.
Then in a flash, I realised that all I had penned down were not fears of how men would fail me. They are in the habit of always falling short.
They were not even fears that God cannot do as promised. I believe completely that He is omnipotent.
All I saw were ‘I’, ‘ME’, ‘UNABLE’.
For a moment, I felt they must be credible fears. I was taking responsibility. If I did not want to appear inadequate, then I have to do all I knew I could and more. I have to be enough, always.
Then I took a minute to imagine God’s thoughts on this and lo…
I felt so foolish.
Those things I fear I will fail at are things that I can’t even control. They include actions of nature that I will never even understand. There in my plans and desires are other humans who hold a right to their individual believes and actions.
All my worries simply were a clean reflection of ignorant pride.
These things aren’t really mine to ponder upon.
They are all Gods to handle.
And if I do believe He is able, why dont I believe He will do it…for me? That He will make it all alright as promised?
Maybe its a thing of control,pride. . .to have and hold on to some fears but
”Why thirst we so much for worry,when we can drink so deeply of peace?”
He has promised to keep in perfect peace all whose hearts are fixed on Him.
That’s all we have to do. Fix our hearts on Him.
Let go of the curiousity to hear the chorus of chanting troubles.
Stare only at God. And that too, by His grace.
Its all about God.